


Rememberance

by lovelesslybeloved



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Ash and Shorter are dead, Banana Fish RBB, Eiji lives on for the both of them, Fanart, Ghosts, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, M/M, Post Ending, Remembrance, canon compliant character death, canon compliant character injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-22 05:21:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19660660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelesslybeloved/pseuds/lovelesslybeloved
Summary: It's been ten years and Eiji only gets one night with them a year. He'll keep his routine and his memories for that one night a year as long as there is breath in his lungs and will in his bones.





	Rememberance

**Author's Note:**

> This work was inspired directly by Jasperygrace over on tumblr! They just got a fresh start on tumblr so check them out and give them some love! They made the lovely Fanart and banner for this fic! 
> 
> https://jasperygrace.tumblr.com/
> 
> (Shout out to AJ for being my beta and making sure my writing wasn't a hot mess https://twitter.com/madlikealynx )

Some people feel like ten years is a long time. One thing that Eiji learned in ten years, is that time is indeed relative, and pain can make time feel longer or shorter depending on the kind.

Some days, Eiji could swear he could still see Ash: sitting at the breakfast table, half awake, staring blankly at the dishes on the table. Or maybe Shorter, spread out on the couch with that cockeyed grin across his face. 

For that brief moment, affection would bloom bright in Eiji’s chest, until reality crashed hard and cruel and reminded him that they were gone. 

Eiji rolled over in his bed to glance at the clock. It was an appropriate time to wake up, but today he wanted to stay in bed much longer. The memories brightened his mood, but weighed his soul down. 

He sighed softly and ran his fingers across the bedding, looking for an excuse to linger. Finding none but a cat, who jumped into his face demanded attention, was a decent motivator. Eiji smiled softly and sat up, petting the cat before swinging his legs out of bed. He grabbed his glasses and tied his hair back at the nape of his neck. Time to start his day. 

Almost four years ago, Eiji finally moved back to New York City. He lived in an apartment near Sing’s area of influence, if for no other reason than the occasional companionship. 

There were some other benefits, such as keeping other gang members out of his business. A lot of people had questions about the infamous Ash Lynx and Shorter Wong, after all. But the truth was, that Eiji was never sure what to say about them. 

They had been young, reckless and passionate; a deadly combo, but Eiji would not have had them any other way. In the grand scheme of things, their time together had been short, but their memories together remained the brightest in Eiji's life. Sometimes these memories made him sad, but Eiji felt that it was an appropriate price to pay to hold these memories so close to his heart. 

He felt his cat, Aslan; another secret Eiji kept near and dear to his heart, before setting about making himself breakfast and reading the newspaper. 

It had been two years since his work began getting published, but it was still jarring to see his photography there. Ibe had pulled a few connections to get him started, mostly for newspapers and magazines in the area, before he got hooked into the art scene. While he still did photography for some magazines, he mostly did private work, enjoying the freedom in his schedule and interests.

Nowadays, the news was still abysmal, but nothing like the gang wars that used to ravage the youth of New York City. Eiji wished he could have done more to help, but it was Max Lobo who was owed the credit. After he released the information Ash had collected, he alone brought down Dino's child trafficking and prostitution ring. Consequently, he had come into a lot of money. 

While that had been nice, Max only wanted a peaceful life with his family. He donated a lot of it to programs that helped kids, such as providing homes for street youth. One was called the Callenreese House, yet another secret close to the hearts of those who had come to love Ash.

After finishing breakfast, Eiji cleaned up, fed Aslan, and left for the day. He had built a routine for himself after all of these years alone, and he would make it a point to uphold that routine on this day. 

He began by stopping at a coffee house near the apartment he and Ash lived in, before going to Ash's beloved New York Public Library. Eiji had made a decent donation there a couple times, both in money and art. This place was bittersweet, but in the end Eiji couldn’t hate a place that had brought so much comfort to Ash.

Eiji recalled the first time he got wind of Ash’s death. He had already been back in the states, still recovering, physical therapy intense and painful. He was wheelchair bound for most of his movement through the city, but he was desperate to be here, to be as close to Ash as he could. He had been there a week, when Sing finally found him. 

The look Sing gave him said the words that he could not bear to hear. He could feel his legs shake and his heart breaking. 

Ash had been so strong and vibrant at that age, nearly invincible. When people are young they seem so immortal, as if they can live forever and get through anything. Nobody embodied this more than Ash. He was strong and spitfire but could harness the quiet intensity of a primal predator when the occasion called for it. 

Sing had taken him to a small space near the New York Public Library, just to the side where Bryant Park was visible. Sing told him that this is where Ash had been injured. Then, he showed him the chair that Ash had died in. 

The tears didn't stop. As he shifted from his wheelchair to the chair where Ash had spent his last moments, truly saying sayonara, Eiji finally broke down and openly sobbed. An attendant approached, but a few words from Sing had her stepping back and turning away without issue. Eiji couldn’t find himself to care. Ash was gone. Shorter was gone. How was he supposed to go on? There was a small part of him that whispered it was his fault. He couldn’t believe that if he intended to live on- it was a toxic thought. 

Later, much later, Sing took him from the Library and a small stroll around Bryant Park. It was lovely, if not crowded, and was a place that Ash never would have taken him in the heat of the gang war and the Banana Fish conspiracy. Sing stopped him under a shady tree with flowers at its base while he ran to a food stand to get some water for Eiji. For his part, Eiji sat there and looked up. The summer sun streamed through the leaves, and that was the first moment that Eiji felt Ash and Shorter were not as far from him as he believed. 

He looked around wildly but didn’t see them; of course he couldn't see them, they were gone. Dead. He looked back up at the leaves, they were shining the color of Ash's eyes, and he felt the breeze tickle his neck. He closed his eyes breathing in and steadying his soul, they were there.  


Sing came back with water, and Eiji felt ready to move on. He would miss them, but Ash and Shorter would be with him as he moved forward. The proof was in the moments he would feel them closer, sometimes even more than when they had been alive. 

His physical therapy continued, until he regained mobility without his wheelchair, then without his walker and finally without a cane. He would fall and lay on the ground sobbing, feeling a mixture of pain in his chest and the hole in his heart, until he could feel them there. They would lift him back up, and he’d follow through for them. 

He found the further from New York he was, the harder it was to feel them. He returned back to Japan after finishing physical therapy, if for no other reason than to show Ash and Shorter the life they could have had together. It had been sweet, domestic, and easy to imagine. 

Ash would have had no trouble adjusting, he could blend in anywhere. Shorter would pout and mope until they agreed on a trip to China. 

He wondered how long it would take them to learn Japanese. Ash had been learning pretty fast before…

Would they open a restaurant? Shorter was always such a good cook and Ash could do anything he set his mind to. Eiji had no doubt Ash would play the stock market game and get them set for Shorter’s restaurant and Eiji’s photography and then simply live a life with them as they’d always planned. 

Needless to say, staying in Japan wasn’t an option. Ash wasn’t there. Shorter wasn’t there. While they weren’t in New York either, it still felt closer than Japan did. 

Apparently, Max had been notified first of Ash’s death. At some point, he had made Max the executive of his will. There wasn’t much but a note that simply said: "you know where I belong." Initially, Max was going to bury Ash up in Cape Cod near the sea. After mulling over the note for hours, New York made more sense. 

Cape Cod was for who Ash had been before his brother went to war; the boy who had never felt another man’s hand on him, who didn't know what men were capable of. Cape Cod was for the Ash before Banana Fish. Cape Cod was for Aslan Callenreese. 

So, it was in New York, where a head stone marked a small plot of ground labeled "Ash Lynx”. Initially, Max was going to use Aslan, but Aslan was back with Cape Cod. Ash Lynx was for New York and, in the end, the man who had died was Ash Lynx. 

Eiji agreed. He had never known Aslan Jade Callenreese, but he had loved Ash Lynx. Three years after Ash had been buried, a small plate marker was placed next to his headstone for Shorter Wong. It was Sing and Nadia who decided that it was appropriate. 

Nadia still wasn’t fully aware of everything that had happened, but after Ash died, Sing reassured her that Ash had only ever done right by Shorter. It was painful, and Nadia didn’t visit the graves often. Eiji only got together with her once or twice a year. They always promised to see each other more often but they both knew it hurt too much to see each other. 

Ten years after Ash’s death, as Eiji moved through the library to his seat, he felt a painful longing to see those jade green eyes again. To laugh once more with him, to see purple tips over the shelves and his reflection in those sunglasses. Eiji sat down in the chair and ran his fingers over the table top. He pulled a leaf of paper and pen from his pocket, staring at the emptiness for a long moment, before clicking the tip and setting to work.

He wrote a letter in the library every year. Afterwards, he would stop and get flowers, then go to the cemetery. That was his yearly ritual, and as long as he had breath in his lungs and the will in his bones, he’d do it. He had to. He owed it to them.

He wrote to Ash and Shorter about the things that had happened in the year since the last letter. He told them about how much he missed them, that he could barely wait to see them again soon. He wrote about how he still got mad sometimes that they had left him alone, how Ash and Shorter had done everything to keep him alive except stay alive with him. It hurt. 

Always at the end he would say how much he loved them, how he wished he could have said those words out loud when they were still alive. Eiji believes that they knew, Shorter never would have died for Eiji if he hadn’t loved him to some extent. He knew Ash loved him, that there was nothing he wouldn’t have done for Eiji, or he for him. 

Finishing up the letter, he placed it in an envelope and sealed it, then left the library. After a brief stop in Bryant Park to pick up flowers, Eiji was off. He hailed a taxi and took the twenty minute ride over to Mount Olivet cemetery, where Ash had been buried. 

Max had taken care of paying for the annual care, so the grounds were immaculate and lovely to walk through. Scenic and picturesque. When he came here for the first time in his wheelchair chair, he recalled feeling like he was floating as Sing pushed him, as though Ash and Shorter were carrying him. Later, he discovered that his blood pressure had dropped, making him light headed ruining the illusion of Ash and Singer but making him feel a little more sane.

Rounding the last turn further into the cemetery, Eiji caught the tombstone and made a beeline for it. He stood before it, and all over again was awestruck. The stone markers were clean, the writing as clear as the first time he had seen it. Eiji has photos of this grave site, one is in some magazine and others are printed in a shoebox under his bed.

Eiji crouched down, laying the flowers and letter between the two markers. Eiji had a moment standing before the graves, feeling himself extend into the future and into the past simultaneously. 

How many times had he been to their graves? How many more times would he go here alone? How many more years would he ache and pine for them? Tears sprung to his eyes as he stood, and he simply allowed their fall. 

Eiji lost track of time standing before the markers, trying to absorb as much of Ash and Shorter as he could. To remember as many fond and happy memories as possible, such as their nights spent together up in Cape Cod. Eiji wouldn’t trade these moments for millions of tears or gunshot scars. 

Before he knew it, the sun was setting, and he still needed to call a cab so he could head back to Chinatown before it got well and truly dark. 

Heading back home left him quiet, emotionally drained and physically exhausted. He had meant to bring his camera with him and get some more shots, but there would be other days when the wound of their deaths was not as open and ragged. Eiji felt as if fifty years could pass, and he would still openly weep before their graves. 

He walked slowly into the building and up into his apartment. Letting himself in, he looked through the mail. There were some cards from people like Max and Nadia, his parents, Ibe. He opened and looked through them. He would need to write a letter back thanking them for their concern. 

Max and Ibe wrote and called often, but Nadia only sent a card on this day. His parents were more sporadic in their communication, they had yet to come to New York or see his gallery work. It did not really surprise him that much anymore. 

Eiji made a cup of tea for himself, fed his cat, then settled onto his couch to read before going to bed. It was a quiet night, and Eiji could remember the books that Ash used to place on the bookshelves in their apartment. 

At the time, Eiji hadn’t been fluent enough in English to read them, but now he skimmed through books for pleasure. Sometimes he would make notes about which books Ash or Shorter would have liked. Shorter had never been much for reading, but he had sat on that porch in Cape Cod listening to Ash read for hours. 

As the hour grew later, Eiji found himself yawning more and more. Finally submitting to the desire for sleep, Eiji retired to his room, settling into bed, blankets pulled up. He felt Aslan leap up and curl behind his legs. Eiji let out a soft breath: he relaxed, flipped the lights off, put his glasses on the nightstand, untying his hair, and prepared to dream. 

Slowly, as he started to shift towards sleep, he felt the bed dip on both sides. He groggily peeked his eyes open to see Ash and Shorter sitting there. He smiled softly and sat up as well. He reached for the light and his glasses, but Ash grabbed his wrist and shook his head softly. Eiji understood, the light would ruin this moment. He only got this moment once a year and he would never want to ruin it.

Eiji shifted. Aslan peaked up, purred and settled back in against Eiji. Slowly, Ash and Shorter settled into the bed. Ash sat up and ran his fingers through Eiji’s long hair, while Shorter propped up on his side to run slow fingers down his back. 

Eiji reached for Ash’s free hand and threaded his fingers through them. He shifted his legs backwards until they entwined between Shorter’s legs. Eiji laid there happy and content, somewhere between awake and asleep. 

Ash and Shorter whispered back to him about their year, how they watched over Eiji and how much they loved him. Ash laughed about Aslan. Shorter teases Eiji about his longer hair--when is he going to get a mohawk?? Eiji listened quietly, the sounds of New York a cacophony in the background of their private conversations. 

Eiji only gets this once a year. Even he isn't sure if it is real or not, but he does not breathe a word to anyone about this secret visit.

Eiji struggled to stay awake so that he could continue to enjoy this. He felt his eyes grow heavy, Ash and Shorter’s fingers getting lighter; he wasn't ready to be alone for another year. 

Tears welled up in his eyes, and the fingers over him paused. Softly, Ash’s finger collected the tears at the corner of Eiji’s eyes. Shorter leaned in closer and kissed softly along the shell of Eiji’s ear. Ash shimmies down to lay with Eiji, moves closer and presses kisses over his cheeks and Eiji has never felt so loved and alone simultaneously. It was heartbreaking yet hopeful, everything Eiji needed in that moment.

His eyes began to close, and softly he breathed the words with uncontainable emotion: "I’ll love you forever.”


End file.
